HERE'S YOUR PUN-ISHMENT

A good pun is its own re-word

The Energizer Bunny has been arrested and charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Shotgun wedding: a case  of wife or death.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Divorce is the mourning after the knot before.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

When two egotists  meet, it's an I for an I.

What's the definition of a will?   (Come on, it's a dead giveaway.)

A backwards poet writes inverse.

In Democracy your vote counts.  In feudalism, your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back 4 seconds.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Even a calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

TTFN and God Bless