You can quote me on this

Got to thinking on all the great quotes and one liners I've heard over the years..... Hey, it's a hobby!   Thought I might share a few of them, attributed when I can remember who said what firstest.

"People usually amuse me, but seldom amaze me."   Mark Twain

"Common sense is not that common."   Voltaire

"Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect."  Steven Wright

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it's to dark to read."  Groucho Marx

"If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?"  Steven Wright

"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?"

"Is it weird in here, or is it just me?"   Steven Wright.

"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."  Groucho

"All people are born alike, except Republicans and Democrats."   Groucho

"Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster is a maniac?"   George Carlin

"The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept."   George Carlin

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."  Bill Cosby

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her."  Rodney Dangerfield

"A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar."  Mark Twain

"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."  Mark Twain

"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this"  Terry Pratchett

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."  Terry Pratchett

"A fool and his money are soon elected."   Will Rogers

"God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being."  Red Skelton

"She has more Chins than the San Fransisco Phone Book."  Joan Rivers.

more later