Postcards from Mum

This one is either harder or easier to write....hunhhh? Spent a lot more time with Mum and was quite a bit closer to her than with Dad..... So been really thinking of which postcards to share.

Paso Robles, California..about 1954 or 55.the house I loved the most of all the ones we lived in.....Mum sitting in the kitchen talking on the telephone to someone, she's sitting on a bar stool type of ... stool....phone in one hand and as she talks she is doodling on a little note pad with a pencil in the other hand.....a perfect representation of the ornate sugar bowl sitting on the counter about 3 feet from her! Mom always loved art, as a child she wanted to be an artist and she had "the eye" of an artist.....as we all know, life and reality often gets in the way of dreams.

Early 1960s, the family is on a rare outing, we are walking down the street in San Francisco.....can't really remember exactly where we were headed, do remember it was downtown and we were walking downhill...Mum, Dad, Gram, Kris and myself......a group of people are walking towards us......not really paying attention to anything myself...a beautiful day (it was always beautiful weather for Mum in the City by the bay)...all of a sudden both Mum and Gram scream...so do the people walking towards us....as Dad, Kris, and myself watch in shock, horror, amazement and acute embarrassment......the group of strangers and our Mum (and Gram) are embracing and laughing and crying and generally embarrassing the hell out of us....I remember the three of us slowly backing uphill away from them, looking at each other as if wondering "Is this catching?"...... Turns out to be Mum's grade school teacher and her family from Gardner, Mass....vacationing in California and they had recognized each other......whew....

You know how sometimes you can actually "hear" someone blush? When their embarrassment is so acute that it radiates! Was on the phone with Mum in the late 1980's.. She told me the first "off color" joke I had ever heard her say. "What do you do with a Pollock that has 4 balls?" she asked......"You take him gently by the hand, and lead him to first base!"...... Kris still doesn't believe that she said that ...you see, Mum was the kind that wouldn't say it if she had a mouthful of it.....that kind of person....

1992...I had recently moved back to Prescott and was living with Mum after my divorce......she hadn't been to visit Dad's grave site in a long time. I hadn't seen it in years....we finally went to visit it.....on a beautiful summer day... parked the car and walked to the site and the monument was covered with pine needles, and dirt...the little junipers on each side were unwatered.....she was so .... I'm not sure of the word here......intense will do....you could see tears flowing, and hear a sniff or two.....she tried to get on her knees to clean the slab, but at her age, that was almost impossible....bending over, brushing needles and dirt away scrubbing furiously using the abrupt and stilted motions of someone who is so very much on the edge....all the while just barely audible, berating herself for letting it get this way......the real reason was she was so upset with him for leaving her all these years....she loved and missed him so much.....we got the grave site cleaned up, watered the junipers, got some flowers from across the street to put there... Well, when I say we......she supervised all of that being done.

2005, same location...Mums with Dad..... I haven't been to visit them since the service...I drive up and park the car...it's a short walk to the grave, yep.....both names now have dates...it's official....as I stand there.....crying.... I say a little prayer....Dear God, I have no way of knowing for sure, but I believe they were both devout and good Christians.....I wish there was a way for me to know that they were both with you in Heaven...... a few more tears, brush off the pine needles...walk back to the car....get in the drivers seat and start the car....realize that when I had stopped my front bumper was was almost touching a brand new wire mesh trash can! Can't even remember seeing it when I came in....sheesh, am getting old......get out of the car to make sure I didn't hit the new can.....in the can are some beautiful roses.....kind of a soft beige color that Mum loved....pick them up...ohh, there are two bunches ... each the same, each almost brand new, each is artificial roses arranged in a heart pattern! They fit, and look beautiful at the head of the monument..

Thank you God.......